Sex Lies And Cosmetic Surgery by Lois W. Stern
FIRST IMPRESSION
Don’t let the title put you off, this book is both serious and educational. More than one hundred people contributed to the creative process, including women who have added their own experiences anonymously. The author, Lois W. Stern, gives us the stark and touching truth about what happened to her as a plastic surgery patient, and brings to light some of the truths and misconceptions about this very personal journey.
The book is designed to act as a guide for any woman who is considering a cosmetic surgery procedure, and includes worksheets and questionnaires on some delicate subjects such as your self-esteem, your sexuality, signs of depression and testing your body image.
“Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery” means to give a woman insights as to how she might react to the emotional aspects of permanently changing her face and/or body appearance, which is something the author feels strongly needs to be addressed. Every chapter in this book is filled with in-your-face honesty, and the author clearly feels that this is how every woman needs to communicate with herself before going under the knife.
A LOOK UNDER THE HOOD
Chapters 5 and 6 are especially thought-provoking as Ms. Stern opens up about her feelings toward the doctor who performed the plastic surgery. The term “transference” is brought into the picture, and the author recounts her own, in her words , “humilating” experience. In short, I found this book to be one that I could not put down, and frankly, nothing like the scandal sheet type stories we all too often see.
This is not meant to deter any woman from the plastic surgery experience, in fact the author herself had favorable results from a facelift, instead the idea is to make women aware of the possibility of feeling as though you’ve “fallen head over heels” in love with your plastic surgeon, and that it happens more often than most people realize. The message here is that if you do find yourself in that situation, you need to seek out competent help from a professional, and know that this is a transient emotional issue that you can get past with guidance and patience.
YEA OR NAY
Living in an age of “Nip Tuck” and other TV shows that make plastic surgery seem like either a ridiculous choice that insecure women make, or gloss over the fact that medical doctors think it’s fine and okay to have sex with their patients, this book is a candid and intelligent source of reliable information. I liked the fact that the author made it clear that in general it was unethical for an M.D. to become intimate with a patient, but that she showed compassion for the human side of our nature as well, and said that in some rare cases the relationship might be worth pursuing.
Overall an empowering and uplifting book, I recommend “Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery” to any woman who is seriously considering undergoing a cosmetic surgical procedure.
About the author……..
Lois W. Stern
After twenty years as an educator, Lois W. Stern became involved with state and national educational conferences, making presentations at both.
Her credentials include:
Co-President of Suffolk Reading Council
Regional Director of Nassau and Suffolk LI Reading Councils
Founder of Kidstories, creating personalized books and poems for children
She attended Barnard College and Columbia University and holds a Masters Degree in Elementary Education and a second in Reading and Special Education
Sex, Lies and Cosmetic Surgery Website
I purchased my copy of “Sex Lies and Cosmetic Surgery” online from Barnes & Noble. You can buy this book at any retail outlet or at various websites.
My story is a much happier one. I fell in love with my plastic surgeon many years ago, but knew nothing about transference. Actually, if I had known, then I would’ve seen right away that it did not apply to me. What happened was so confusing for me, and I was really bowled over by it. I had never been in love before, not even what I got married to my ex-husband, before I met this doctor. But, when we had some issues to deal with early on and I was not pleased with his response, I overreacted and accused him of using me and being an abusive person. He was devastated (because it’s not even close to being true) and wouldn’t speak to me for the longest time. During that period, I came to terms with how I really felt. I loved him. And that’s it. There was no abuse or bad intentions on his part or mine either. We just fell for each other. One very lucky day, he contacted me again. We talked for a long time, and somehow by the grace of god, got rid of the bad feelings – like they were part of some dream I had. My insecurity and his hurt feelings are gone now, and we are very happily married. I grow to love the man more every day.
What needs to happen if you feel something for your doctor is to give it time. That won’t be what you want to hear, but you really have to do this. If it’s truly love, it won’t go away, or be put off by the criticism of others, etc. That kind of real emotion has a way of staying alive and healing wounds that may be there. I know. It happened to me. But, like most honest love stories, it had its fair share of difficulties and it took its time getting resolved. I wish any woman in that position a great deal of patience and understanding. That’s what it takes to work it out.